What do you think of juice detoxes? Are you a lover or a despiser?
You know what I love about juice detoxes?
The sheer outrage they create.
People love them or hate them. If they’re in the love camp, they’ll rant about the benefits of a juice detox like the second coming has just occurred.
But tell someone who hates them you’re doing one, and they’ll subject you to so much unsolicited advice and unbridled opinion that you’ll feel like you’ve just told them you’re pregnant.
One thing everyone can agree on, no matter whether they sit on the love or hate side, is it’s a controversial diet.
I need to confess now – I’m a juice detox lover. Even if I didn’t enjoy them, I probably wouldn’t be a hater. I’m not one to waste time and energy on issues that don’t affect the quality of my life – which is why I’m always a bit bemused by the hatred for them!
But before you throw me into the verbal gladiatorial arena and tear me to shreds, let me explain why I love a juice detox:
- I already eat a plant based diet. My non-plant protein sources are mostly quinoa, tofu, spirulina, and legumes. So juicing for up to 7 days is not a huge difference to my usual diet. It’s not a shock to my system. It’s not going to give me, and never has given me medical issues.
- I would never, ever think this is a good long term plan. I think it’s great for 3-7 days, maximum. Seriously, I miss crunching on things and condiments too much. And I’m not a nutrition expert. I don’t know what effect it would have on your body doing it for longer than a week.
- I don’t actually expect it to detox my body. Yes, I realise the inherent irony in this. I do juice detoxes for getting myself back on track when I’ve fallen off the health wagon. I see it as goodness I’m putting into my body, as opposed to getting toxins out of it.
I don’t actually like calling it a diet or detox. Mostly because I don’t do it for either of these reasons. The closest term I could use to describe what I do is a “reset” – but I’m sure saying I’m on a “juice reset” would make me sound like even more of a wanker than if I’d said I was on a juice detox. I do them whenever I’ve had a bad binge of food. I usually eat very healthily, but when we travel in our RV through the southern and mid-western parts of America, I do have a month or two at a time where I eat very badly. When I get back home, I don’t ever want to see bread, pasta, potatoes or cheese ever again and I crave juice, fruits and vegetables. And as I mentioned, it’s never going to harm me given I eat a mostly plant based diet, but I can imagine if you ate processed foods and pop/soft drink every day, you might go through some nasty withdrawals.
With this all in mind, I saw a Living Social Voucher for Sanna Tea Juice Bar’s 3 day juice detox. I buy two, hoping to do them back to back as I usually do a week long juice detox after one of our American trips. This time, I convinced my poor, unsuspecting, and very carnivorous husband to do it with me.
I speak to Steve at Sanna. He vibes very positive and enthusiastic over the phone. And he wants lots of details about an average food day for me and my carnivore, which is a confidence booster. I like people who are detail-driven.
I email off our daily food and Steve emails us back a “meal plan”. This juice detox allows raw veggie salads and lettuce/spinach salads, unlike other ones I’ve tried. I think my husband is a little relieved at this. A list of juices, their ingredients and benefits comes with our meal plan, which I really like – again, I like knowing the details of what I’m doing and why.
We go in to pick up our juices and chat to Steve. In person, he’s lovely. We talk about our diets and where we’ve travelled in America and Australia. He explains that he tailors everyone’s juice detox individually to what they can handle based on their current diets. So my juices are a little stronger than my husbands (who looks a little relieved at this). Steve tells me I eat “almost” as well as him (my cheat day on Friday probably brings me down – I eat whatever “bad food” I feel like on this day). And off we trot in the cold with our juices and encouragement from Steve who says we can call or text him at any time.
Even though we’re meant to eat cleanly before we start, my poor other half has a “last meal” of delicious friedness to tide him over.
Smoothie 1 – pineapple blended with ingredients to kick start the digestive system.
Detox 1 – apple, with powerful greens to start dislodging chemicals.
Detox 2- ginger mixed with fruits & herbs to relax your digestion.
Plus mixed veggies with lemon salt and mixed lettuce with balsamic vinegar.
This first day brings unexpected hilarity for me: watching my husband’s facial expressions with every juice. In fairness, these juices are different to other juice detoxes I’ve tried. Steve uses oils and spices in his, which give them more bite than I’m used to, and a different texture. I like this change, but if your idea of juice is orange juice, I can see how this would be confronting!
Detox 3 – pear medley mixed with veggies and turmeric to work as a strong anti-inflammatory.
Detox 4 – grapefruit and garlic mixed with traditional herbs to accelerate your detox.
Detox 5 – apple cider vinegar with specific fruits/veggies to soothe and purify the intestinal tract.
Plus pulpy fruits for breakfast, the veggies and mixed lettuce.
Withdrawals. My poor carnivore has a nasty migraine from the lack of sugar and caffeine that his body is used to. And on top of that, his belly is not handling the juice very well. I encourage him to drink as much water as he can to help the symptoms. I did warn him if he didn’t eat cleanly leading up to this, there could be side effects, but I still feel a lot sorry for him and a little guilty of what I’ve done to him!
Smoothie 2 – a complete combination of restorative herbs combined with Goji berries, fruits and hemp oil.
Detox 6 – beets with other veggies to purify your blood.
Detox 7 – the final juice mixed with hemp oil to recover your neurons.
Plus pulpy fruits, salad and veggies.
My husband powers through his juices today. I wonder why he seems so eager, and he reminds me it’s our last day doing the detox and he has cheeseburgers in sight. I’m very proud of him for having made it this far. He’s a good sport for agreeing to do this with me and I’m happy that he’s introducing some new fruits, veggies, spices and oils into his diet as a part of this.
I was pleased with the level of personal touches from Sanna Tea, and felt it offered more in the different juices and their ingredients than you do with the more “commercial” detoxes I’ve tried, say in America. From my husband’s point of view, he would like to never do one again (hehe). But the positive he got out of it: he said he could have one of the green based juices (like spinach) every day, and he’d like to do something good for his health like that to balance out the bad foods he really enjoys. And for me, I thought this was the best thing we got out of it!
So what do you think of juice detoxes? Are you a lover or a despiser?